He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
