May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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