creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I did not marry a roomba.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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