My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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