you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
