You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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