He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
