people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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