I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
