Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
