I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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