I will die if light touches me.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize