its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
