At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
