No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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