No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
