Porn is love you can see.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Randomize
