I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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