Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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