She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
