Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
operation harelip BJ is a go
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
