He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize