Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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