so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
