I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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