i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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