My nipple is on Facebook.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
