:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
