pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
