Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
