Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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