Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
