Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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