white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
They should really pass out barf bags in church
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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