"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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