Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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