Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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