Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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