she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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