im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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