The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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