I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize