his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
