Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
