Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
honey bunches of taint.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I touched a dick in church today
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
