I CAN MOONWALK!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just found a bag of teeth...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
