what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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