i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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