i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
