I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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