the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
