so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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