It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
