he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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