he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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