The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize