It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just invented taco cereal.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
