When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am midnight drunk by noon
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
His nipple licking is glorious
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