She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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