May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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