i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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