Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
