Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
