the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
