Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
