Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid is not a monday night drug
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize